My Blind Date

I would like to start off my blog with my first blind date experience. A friend of mine insisted I go out with her boyfriend's friend because she had met him the previous weekend and said we would be completely perfect for eachother. Looking back on the experience, I can't help but wonder what it was that I could have possibly done to upset her that would make her want to set me up with Adam.

So the plans were made and he agreed to pick me up. Before the date I took several hours getting ready quite excited to meet the guy my "good friend" said was my match. Let me first just say, that I'm not really a fan of blonde men..even though I am blonde I just dont find them very attractive. In fact, I sort of stick with the motto..the darker the better. So who else would pull up..but a tall guy with spiky blonde hair. I was slightly discouraged but I refused to discriminate because he wasn't my type lookwise in any way..I mean you never know he could have a sparkling personality.

After the very awkward greeting we shared (which in my early adult life have found out that this awkward greeting happens pretty much everytime you go on a first date), we got into the car to head to Cucina Cucina's to eat before our movie. He was very chatty during the ride which I usually would consider a good thing, however he was following so close to the car in front of him that I could pretty much see the texture on the license plate. My eyes aren't very good so this clearly means he was scary close. He had both hands on the steering wheel and was leaning forward almost resting his chin on the wheel...picturing this in your head right now you probably are thinking that it sounds like a very strange position to be in while driving...which trust me it looks as bad in person as it sounds on paper. I was trying to think of a way to explain to him that he was making me nervous without having another awkward moment in less then an hour. I ended up telling him casually that his driving was sort of wild..and he laughed. Mission Failed.

Surprisingly, I made it to the restaurant. When sitting down at the booth I sat on the end of one side thinking he would sit across from me...but no he apparently really wanted to sit RIGHT beside me. When the food arrived I was unable to properly use my right hand to eat my pasta because he was sitting so close that he was pressed literally up against my arm and me up against the wall. I kept glancing over at all the room on the other side of him (Special Note: I was quite a bit younger in this story, which is why I struggled to find words to not offend him in every situation we had..now that Im older I don't really mind embarrassing them..its a great feature that comes with age.) Once I regained full use of my hand thanks to clever wording on my part, my mood began to improve. Shortly after he knocked over the bowl of oil and vinegar the server had given us for dipping our bread..and luckily it completely missed him and landed on my pants. Again...he laughed.

After our meal we walked over to the theater where I was sporting a very large stain on my pants and a wonderful vinegar aroma. He picked the movie Stuck On You. When we first sat down I was thanking the Lord for the little armchair dividers in between the seats. Apparently he was not as fond of them as I was..because he was leaning over the divider to try and get closer to me. Now I think its very important to say that I have space issues and I'm not a huge fan of people being extremely close..so his behavior was causing me to have slight anxiety. The movie he picked was very corny.. and to top it off he kept whispering random flirty comments in my ear. Which would have not been so bad..if he didnt suffer from a mild case of mummy breath. Finally he decided to be bold and ask me the big question..He had a lisp so it came out something like this.. "Soo..Im turning eighteen nexssssssst week, do I get a birthhhday kissssss?" My mind went into complete panic...his breath was terrible...he was in my space..and now he wants a kiss!? Hmmm....ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
Now I have always wondered..what in the world makes a guy ask this question on the first date? He should never...I repeat NEVER ask to kiss you on the first date. If it happens..hey it happens..but to ask so early its just not a good idea.

Anyway..I was sitting there not knowing what to say so I decided to roll with something along these lines, "Haha..well I don't kiss people I don't know." (Special Note To All The Women: I have used this statement several times...and not once has it actually worked. Immediately after this is said men start trying to prove that you know them. Even if this is your first date a man will whip out everything in his power to prove that he knows you well enough for a kiss.) What they dont realize is that if we actually wanted to kiss you, we would not have said it in the first place.

In his final plea to seduce a kiss out of me, he put his mouth close to my ear and took a very deep breath...and he huffed..and he puffed...and he blew like he was trying to blow out all eighteen of his candles. But I have to give him points for trying because the blowing in the ear tactic can work..in theory. However, I feel as if when he was being informed of this strategy they left out a very important tip, that when blowing you probably shouldnt blow as hard as you can. If you made her hair move, then you need to tone it down just a bit.

You will be happy to know that I made it through the movie and all the way home without a kiss from Tutankhamun the mummy. Clearly, I knew that we would never go on a date again. Unfortunately he did not come to the same conclusion, and was persistant for quite some time after our date. He did over time eventually give up like they always do. This was my first blind date experience, and will most likely be my last. I have decided that even though I love my friends with all my heart, I should not leave it up to them to pick a man for me.