Sunday, May 29, 2011

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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Men Say The Darndest Things!

I havent had a chance to blog in awhile...been feeling distracted and unfocused. Starting the new year I am going to try to blog more often, but we will see how it goes. Haha. Time just flies by too quickly!

Being that Im quite backed up on my adventures with the male species, I have decided to make this blog a cluster of random statements that have been made to me by men that I have encountered. Hope you get as much entertainment out of them as I did :o)

"Frances, I really enjoy your company...and you seem like a cool girl. So I wanted you to know that I live with my ex girlfriend. ...That I used to be engaged to. Hopefully thats not a problem."

(Problem? Oh no..never that.)

"A girl that I used to mess with told me that girls actually feel emotion when it comes to sex! Thats crazy!!! Us guys dont have that at all."

(His face looked so shocked at the notion that sex and emotion could ever be related. Like he genuinely could not quite grasp the concept. If this statement is true for most men then it may change the way I feel about sex forever. Hahaha.)

That same guy from the last statement also made this one:

Me: I havent responded in awhile..he keeps texting me saying he misses me.

"Eh..he is probably just saying that because he wants in your pants...And dont look at me like that, Im just being honest."


"Ya I know Im wearing a wedding ring, but girl Im not married! I just wear it because if I dont I cant keep the women off me."

(...Said the scrawny white boy with glasses. do appear to be quite the chick magnet.)

"You heard I was married from your coworker? Oh no..thats my twin brother Mike. Hes the married one..Im michael and very single."

(So your mother had twins...and named one Mike and the other Michael. Hahaha..Alright sure.)

"You say everytime you see me Im talking to a different girl.Its true but I dont understand why you dont wanna chill with me because Im friendly with girls. I am a bouncer at a bar and its part of my job requirement to flirt while Im at work. It doesnt really mean anything to me."

(I feel like somewhere in his past a Hooters girl made this statement to him, and he liked it so much he made it his own.)

"Hey, If youre not gonna talk to me will you give your friend my number?"

Me: This guy that came into my restaurant was hitting on literally everything that walked by. No requirements just had to look like a girl. It was disgusting...He cant expect women to fall for that.

"Oh.....So if he would have just hit on a couple girls is that still bad?"

(LoL...Yes you clueless man! That is still bad. Us women want to feel like you chose us out of all the rest, not like were one of many. Only a girl with low self esteem will fall for that crap.)

"Being honest the reason I never texted you saying you left your belt over here was mostly because I wasnt sure if it was really yours or not. That was in the beginning though, now I only talk to you."

(Haha this is seriously one of my classic.)

"I promise Im not only talking to you to try to get you to have sex with me...I have plenty of girls to do that with. So we can take it slow if you pressure."

You gotta love men. I know I sure do.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Oh boy.

Have you ever dated anyone who you were absolutely crazy about? Someone who you could never see yourself being without? Then one day something happens, and just like that they're gone like all the others. Relationships are tough, especially letting them go. This story is about my new roommate and her now ex boyfriend.

Candice and I had decided to go out for a drink and have some roomie bonding time, being that she just recently moved in. We happened to be at a bar right down the street from her boyfriends house, and she thought that we should stop by so I could meet him. As we were walking she kept telling me, "You'll really like him, hes great." So I said, "Shouldn't you call him to see if hes home?" It always makes me uneasy popping in on people without letting them know I'm coming first, I'm not a huge fan of surprises. "Nah..Hes home. I spoke to him earlier," she assured me. There's one thing she was correct about, he was definitely home. As we approached his door the blinds were open and there he was...on the couch...with another girl...being quite friendly. As one can imagine, the situation got scary awkward, to the point where I decided it was best for me to stand in silence and just..stare. Candice started pounding on the door, when her boyfriend realized it was her he quickly closed the blinds and would not answer the door. Im not sure why he even bothered doing this, its not like much could save him after his affectionate display. My roomie was now furious..calling him yelling, pounding on the door, just pretty much completely wildin' out. She had me wondering what I would do in this exact situation.

Finally when she realized he wasn't going to answer the door she shouted, "Fine! I hope you like that B**** more then you like your PORSCHE!!" Oh boy. With that being said she stormed over to his car and began pulling at his windshield wipers. So heres the thing...vandalizing a car is not really ever appropriate, however I had to sympathize with the poor girl..she just witnessed her boyfriend whom she thought was a superb guy cheating..the girl he was cheating with is still inside.. he wont let her in his place and to top it all off she was humilated infront of her brand new roommate. This is a very tough situation, in which case I had to choose my words very wisely, " Candice. I'm not going to stop you because I know in some strange way this is probably therapeutic for you..but I feel it is my duty as your roommate to make you aware that if you continue we may very well have an officer knocking on the front door tomorrow morning eager to speak with you." She shrugged and shouted, "I dont give a f***!" Hmm..Alrighty then.

He never came out of his apartment, which seriously suprises me. When I was finally able to get her to leave and go home she had done a significant amount of damage to the car. All in all she ripped off his windshield wipers, busted his headlights, keyed his car, and tore off both his license plates. WHOA. Now if we were back in Seattle where I grew up, tearing off a dudes windshield wipers would be a low blow. Take the doors off but dont take the wipers, you can't even operate your vehicle with all that rain. You'd be just super stuck.

On the car ride home we sat in silence for most of the way then after awhile she said, "I understand why you dont date." And that was it. We haven't really spoke about that night since it happened, but I still think about how terrible it must have been for her. Yes, she did destroy his car..but her feelings were really hurt by someone she cared about. Situations like these are some of the reasons why I dont date. I hate getting hurt and being lied to, so much that I avoid relationships almost completely. Why do so many people cheat? I have never been able to make sense of it. My best guess is that its a lack of maturity, and the need for excessive attention. Whatever the reason may be, it doesn't excuse any of it.

My closing statement is a special note to all the cheaters who may someday come across my blog; If you have zero self control, or you're really just that selfish dont try making a commitment to someone if you know that you can't stick with it. If you cheat on someone you love, then you dont deserve them.. so why even bother lying? Save everyone else the time and wasted effort, and just be upfront with your player like tendancies. You'll find it much easier then pretending to be something youre not.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

What Animal Would You Be?

As I have mentioned in a previous blog, I'm not a huge fan of cheesy pickup lines. However, for the first time in quite awhile I heard a line that I didn't hate.

Allie and I were out just having a very casual night listening to music (if you haven't noticed casual happens to be my favorite scene) when a guy with bright red hair approaches us. He says, "Hello ladies, may I ask you a question?" As I was mentally preparing myself for something incredibly stupid to come out of his mouth I said, "Sure...why not." He then said, "Well my buddies and I over there have been discussing with eachother what animal we think we would be, and I was wondering..what animal would you ladies be?" What a great question! Haha..I happen to be quite the animal lover, so this stinker butt is in luck and has succeeded in efficiently capturing my attention. Allie answers, "A killer whale because I love the ocean and they are the number one predator in the water." sweet friend Allie (whom always wears a flower in her hair) would like to be the oceans number one killer..if that didn't catch his attention I dont know what will. They dabbled on in conversation for a moment and he then turned to me waiting for my answer. So I asked, "Well what animal would you like to be?" He smiled, "I decided that I would like to be a dog." Hah..funny I was thinking the same thing. He continued, "Cause you know they are fed and played with everyday...and they always have someone to take care of them. It just seems like a great life..laying around all day having your master get you everything you need. So what about you miss lady?" While he was saying this I had a sudden epiphany of what marriage would be like for his future wife. "Well I mean that sounds pretty great...for the dog atleast. But umm..If I could be an animal I think I would be a wolf." He raised his eyebrows in friend just said she wanted to be a dangerous ocean creature and he acted like that was normal and all I said was I wanted to be a wolf and he looked at me like I'm the one he should be alarmed about. "Why would you want to be a wolf?" I said, "I think a wolf suits me quite well, they are great hunters but more of a shadow dweller..something that listens and watches very intently. Im not shy or introverted, just sort of private and wolves are that way too." He replied, "So you're independant? Your eye color definitely says that about you." My eye color? I have never heard this before, and he must've noticed the look on my face because he continued, "They say that people with lighter eyes tend to be more comfortable in their own skin and with being alone then others with dark eyes." Now I'm not sure if this is a real statistic or anything but I have a very hard time believing it.
He continued to talk to us for a couple minutes longer, until Allie stood up as a clear sign that she was done with our chat. Later that night I saw that red headed man walk up to two other girls and guess what...he asked them the exact same question! Haha. Oh you men..I just love it. I am fully aware that many guys do this, if it doesn't work on one try another..and I have to admit it is alot easier then treating each girl different and having to think of a new thing to say to each one you try to mack on. In fact, one night when I go out I'm going to try this. I dont usually.. wait no correction..I NEVER approach men but I think I shall try it one night for the sake of pure entertainment. Just to see how guys react to my creative pickup line that I use numerous times throughout the night, who knows maybe one will even call me out on it. That would be lovely!
On a different note, for my extreme hate of pickup lines I actually enjoyed this one. He was creative, and it was a question he could technically ask anybody. So props for him!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Can I get some respect please?

There is something that I think I can safely say pretty much all women want..Respect. Or atleast thats what we claim we want. Respect seems to be a dying concept and no longer is a high priority trait that is instilled into us like it used to be in the past. "Treat others the way you would want to be treated." A common saying that is greatly overlooked. When dealing with people, I feel like many times during the day we dont stop and think how would I feel being on the recieving end of the things I say and do to others.Or maybe we just dont care enough to even worry about it. What I look for in a man is to be treated with the utmost respect, and I have been unable to figure out why I cant find that. I have been doing some observing lately, and I am starting to understand why respect is such an endangered concept. Here are a few instances that I have witnessed or heard recently:

~While out once on Taco Tuesday I saw a pregnant (keyword: PREGNANT) girl in a skimpy prostitute looking dress with four inch heels chugging a beer. Let me repeat that...PREGO CHUGGING A BEER. To top it off, she after having finished hers proceeded to accept another beer from a dude. It was very disturbing to watch, and I feel sorry for that poor baby who can't help that his mother is a complete idiot.

~Have you ever stopped and really looked at yourself before going out to a club? Yes todays fashion is very cute, but we all have to admit that the average club/bar attire makes us women look like high priced call girls. Short dresses the barely cover our booty, shirts so low cut you can almost see the entire boob, high heels that are so tall we can barely walk.We are all guilty of this offense, myself included..but it truly looks so trashy. Yes we want a mans attention, which these outfits definitely attract many wandering eyes but have you ever wondered what hes thinking about you when he is looking? I couldn't tell you word for word, but I guarantee its not "Wow I really wanna take her home to meet my momma!"

~A great example; The ocho cinco show, Real Chance at love, Flavor of love. All these shows women go on to rip eachother apart and expose themselves to the world to compete for one mans "affection". For what? Exposure? You will sacrifice your own self respect just for publicity? No one is buying that these women are really on there to fall in love, it really just makes the whole idea of love a bit of a joke.

~I was watching The Bad Girls Club with two guys and they were sitting on the couch laughing the entire time. These attractive women with gobbs of makeup on their face screaming and fighting with eachother constantly. The entire show was based on drama, cat fights, and what guy they were gonna hookup with that night. What woman would ever want to be part of this?? It is pure entertainment for men to see girls acting like insane pyschopaths.

~My friend met a guy and they went out to dinner. That night after only hanging out with him for a couple hours, she had sex with him. The next day she was telling me how great he was and how they just had so much chemistry. He told her he wanted her to meet his friends, and all these sweet things to give her what I like to call false hope to help him get her in the sack. Well guess what...he never spoke to her again. Im not saying everytime you have a one stand he wont stick around, because I have heard of situations where the two people become a couple. However, if you didn't make him work very hard..or work at all for that matter then where do you expect him to respect you? He probably thinks you're just easy, I mean for all he knows you sleep with every guy you meet.

~If you're already in a relationship with a guy and you catch him cheating on you DUMP HIM. A huge mistake we make is taking someone back who has cheated. It's hard to get rid of a guy you really care about but the truth is, if he did that to you he doesn't respect you. He may like you but without respect liking you isn't enough. By taking him back after he has done that, he will feel like he can get away with things like that and you'll still be with him. I have experienced this first hand, and seen it many times.

~Now all the rap songs sing about hoes and sex. Example: The new hit Toot it and Boot it. Us ladies will be out on the floor dancing our hearts out while the guy is singing about having sex with a chick and never speaking to her again. "I met her in the club, you know I was drunk. I asked her name and then said I wanna f*** and Im YG you know I f***ed. And she f***ed back like a little slut. And she fell inlove and she feel stupid cuz you know I toot it and boot it." YG. Okay so that right there,guys are standing on the side watching us getting wild on the dance floor to this song..what in the world is he supposed to think? Haha.

These are a few things I have noticed and thought about over the past few weeks, and I can sort of understand why its becoming more and more difficult to find some respect in the dating world. We can't really blame the men I mean come on...if we dress like a slut, act like a slut, and lack morals for own self how in the world can we expect to recieve any type of respect? Men are going out and seeing so many of us women and we're not demanding the respect so they're not giving it. The problem is now, if you are one of the women out there that wants this from a man and you let him know that,alot of the time hes thinking (Oh screw this girl, she actually wants me to work for her. Why should I put in that extra work for her when I can just go to a club and find many chicks that will sleep with me right off the reel.) I'm telling you ladies, we are messing things up for ourselves big time. We need to stop letting guys think they're pimps and stop wandering around acting like little hussies. If we dont, I fear that respect will become completely extinct and lord only knows what dating would be like then.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Giver And The Taker

When it comes to dating there seems to almost always be two roles..the giver and the taker. Ideally it would be equally split between two people, but in reality it hardly ever works out that way. I have experienced being on both sides of these roles, however I would like to talk about being the giver. When I like someone I usually try to do whatever I can to help or make that person happy. There have been times in my past where I have tried consistently to show my affection to the guy that I like, but with that didn't recieve a whole lot back. I know this happens to many people, and I have very conflicting feelings about the taker in these situations. Reason being, when I am the taker in the relationship its usually because I dont really care that much...or atleast I dont think I do. The process most of the time evolves something like this;
1. boy meets girl/girl meets girl/boy meets boy (whatever your preference is)
2. start texting (this stage is critical its where the giver/taker roles are established)
3. giver gives...and hopes that the taker will realize what a great person they have in their life and start giving back.
4. giver starts to feel discouraged.
5. now when the taker begins to sense the giver is starting to feel like things are never going to change they will most of the time give just enough to revitalize the givers hope so they wont completely go away and lose faith. There are three reasons I have concluded they do this: they either really do like the giver and are just inherently on the selfish side/dont know they like them..there is someone else they're talking to which makes it difficult to be the giver to more then one person..or because they are someone that wants attention and basically just uses that person for their own benefit whether it be sex, money, etc.
6. Giver regains atleast partial hope and continues on their routine of giving.
7. Finally the giver becomes fed up and usually will present the taker with an ultimateum..which in most cases the taker cannot follow through with it.
8. The end.

Now the process can take several years or just a few depends on the givers tolerance. I have found that in past cases when I was the giver after I had accepted my failed mission and let him go that usually tends to be the time when taker has decided he is ready to give back. Absence can make you realize that you cared more then you thought. The sad part is, you will be sitting there listening to everything he is saying..things that if he said before would have tickled you pink now just make you confused. When you feel this way its most likely because hes too late, you may still care very much about him but you dont have anything left to give. Everything you thought you wanted from dont want anymore. My conclusion to this is that it must be lifes way to even the score and teach the taker a lesson.

~Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They're trying to find someone whos going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, not a place you go to take.~ Anthony Robbins

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Alex and Slurring Sloppy James

I would first like to start off with an update on me to let you know that Henry (deceitful male creature from previous blogs) is now gone for good. I will not tell the story however I will say that in my disposing of him, I made a personal self vow to never experience this again. If you have to continuously ask a guy to hang out, hes flaky, has very shady excuses, or just plain makes your womanly instincts uneasy, you must get rid of him. When a guy actually likes you, he wont do all these crazy strange things that leave you confused. Now, the story that Im actually about to tell is not my own but is something my roommate Alex experienced.

Her and I went down to a little dive bar to meet with some of her friends from school. While there we met this guy named James whom was a friend of my friend. He seemed fairly goofy and awkward which I was highly encouraging of for the simple fact that I could not see any player characteristics in his silly demeanor. Being the unintentionally snoopy person I am, I just happened to hear bits and pieces of the conversation he was having with Alex and it went something like this:
Alex: Yeah Im a history major..
James: Oh yesh well I like that too..thats why I major in engineering. Im highly intellessual for sooo many reasons.. because Im drunk.

To my surprise Alex didn't seem to notice that there were so many things wrong with his guess is that it probably had something to do with the fact that she too was quite intoxicated.

At the end of the night I offered to give slurring sloppy James a ride home along with my other guy friend. James was sitting in the back with Alex and decided to go in for a kiss, but before he actually got the chance to kiss her he lost his front tooth in the backseat of my car. He spent quite awhile looking for it and demanded that I owe him a tooth. Apparently someone had punched him in the face earlier that night and Mr. tooth had decided to wait until it was in my car to fall out. James invited Alex in and she accepted so I decided to wait for her at my guy friends house a couple streets down. Im not highly approving of going home with a stranger, but seeing that I definitely out weighed him and also new where he lived I figured it would be okay.

While in his house James kept wanting Alex to take shots with him. Hearing this story it was quite clear to me that he wanted to get her very drunk and take advantage of her. Unfortunately for him, Alex happens to be quite the drinker...In fact Im almost positive she could go head to head with a full grown D lineman from the San Diego Chargers in a drinking contest. After he was done trying to liquor her up, Alex was sitting on the couch and she heard James in the other room speaking with his roommate.
Roommate: Did you get her to take shots?
James: Yeshhh.
Roommate: Good. Now shes drunk..she totally wants it dude. Just go get her.
James: YEshh.IM really gonna...

He comes in and tries to kiss her. Once again, he isn't able to make it to that kiss because he all of a sudden jumps up runs down the hall and slams the door. Alex was feeling quite confused. She went to the door and could hear him throwing she opened it and there was a very sick drunk toothless James sprawled on the bathroom floor. Seeing her he quickly yelled "SHUT THE DOOR!" That being said Alex left.

I love this story because he was trying to get her very drunk but ended up getting himself so wasted he couldn't even function. Serves him right. Next time maybe he'll think twice before he decides to listen to his scummy roommate.