Saturday, August 21, 2010

Alex and Slurring Sloppy James

I would first like to start off with an update on me to let you know that Henry (deceitful male creature from previous blogs) is now gone for good. I will not tell the story however I will say that in my disposing of him, I made a personal self vow to never experience this again. If you have to continuously ask a guy to hang out, hes flaky, has very shady excuses, or just plain makes your womanly instincts uneasy, you must get rid of him. When a guy actually likes you, he wont do all these crazy strange things that leave you confused. Now, the story that Im actually about to tell is not my own but is something my roommate Alex experienced.

Her and I went down to a little dive bar to meet with some of her friends from school. While there we met this guy named James whom was a friend of my friend. He seemed fairly goofy and awkward which I was highly encouraging of for the simple fact that I could not see any player characteristics in his silly demeanor. Being the unintentionally snoopy person I am, I just happened to hear bits and pieces of the conversation he was having with Alex and it went something like this:
Alex: Yeah Im a history major..
James: Oh yesh well I like that too..thats why I major in engineering. Im highly intellessual for sooo many reasons.. because Im drunk.

To my surprise Alex didn't seem to notice that there were so many things wrong with his guess is that it probably had something to do with the fact that she too was quite intoxicated.

At the end of the night I offered to give slurring sloppy James a ride home along with my other guy friend. James was sitting in the back with Alex and decided to go in for a kiss, but before he actually got the chance to kiss her he lost his front tooth in the backseat of my car. He spent quite awhile looking for it and demanded that I owe him a tooth. Apparently someone had punched him in the face earlier that night and Mr. tooth had decided to wait until it was in my car to fall out. James invited Alex in and she accepted so I decided to wait for her at my guy friends house a couple streets down. Im not highly approving of going home with a stranger, but seeing that I definitely out weighed him and also new where he lived I figured it would be okay.

While in his house James kept wanting Alex to take shots with him. Hearing this story it was quite clear to me that he wanted to get her very drunk and take advantage of her. Unfortunately for him, Alex happens to be quite the drinker...In fact Im almost positive she could go head to head with a full grown D lineman from the San Diego Chargers in a drinking contest. After he was done trying to liquor her up, Alex was sitting on the couch and she heard James in the other room speaking with his roommate.
Roommate: Did you get her to take shots?
James: Yeshhh.
Roommate: Good. Now shes drunk..she totally wants it dude. Just go get her.
James: YEshh.IM really gonna...

He comes in and tries to kiss her. Once again, he isn't able to make it to that kiss because he all of a sudden jumps up runs down the hall and slams the door. Alex was feeling quite confused. She went to the door and could hear him throwing she opened it and there was a very sick drunk toothless James sprawled on the bathroom floor. Seeing her he quickly yelled "SHUT THE DOOR!" That being said Alex left.

I love this story because he was trying to get her very drunk but ended up getting himself so wasted he couldn't even function. Serves him right. Next time maybe he'll think twice before he decides to listen to his scummy roommate.


  1. LOL! Good for him! Very entertaining and real.

  2. It seems to be real that I also thinks. The post you have made over here is really interesting and quite nice.

  3. I love that story! Very funny but quite a true one . Greetings!