6 Ways To Guarantee A Date.

If you ask a scientist or even a doctor, they will tell you with full confidence that men and women are the same species. Tell me why then, we can't understand a word the opposite sex is saying? I honestly can relate to my dog..whom doesn't speak, better then I can understand a guy speaking my native language right infront of me. It all boils down to one sentence...women are too complicated and men are too simple. So simple that our brain has trouble even making sense of what the other saying. When he says, "Nothing." He literally means nothing. When a woman says nothing..there is almost always something. In a plea to help understand one another people have began writing articles with titles similar to these; "ways to improve your dating life"..."Things that will scare him away"..."Warning signs he's using you." Women desperately read these articles in hopes of finding the answer to the many why questions we have. In reality, are these articles really saying anything of value? I mean after all, aren't a great number of these answers about men articles written by women? I came across one help article in particular, that I would like to share with everyone. Being the critic that I am, I of course plan to add a great deal of commentary.



6 Ways To Guarantee A successful First Date

(First off, with my dating history this title made me laugh. I dont think any of these tips could have possibly improved some of my dates. It did however catch my attention. Kudos.)


First dates are rough. So rough, in fact, that many people feel they need a pre-date drink just to make it out the door. But what if there were things you could do to make the date more comfortable – as well as some easy ways to gauge his interest? Well, wish no longer: Today, I’m going to tell you about the three signals you can give off to help make things more relaxed and open between the two of you, and three signs from him that you should be on the lookout for, on your next first date.
First things first, ladies. Here’s how you can manipulate your body language to make your date more comfortable:
1. Don’t sit directly across from him. Perhaps there’s a reason that the word “date” conjures up those classic images of a guy and girl sitting side-by-side, sharing a chocolate malt. When you sit directly across from your date, it gives off a confrontational vibe. “It elicits a fight-or-flight response and creates stress." “If you can’t sit side-by-side, then push your chair to one side of the table as you sit down.” D suggests aiming to sit about 30% off-center; so if you’re sitting opposite him, you’d both be able to stretch your legs out without hitting each other.

(Okay..so due to past experience, Im not a fan of the thought of sitting next to a guy during dinner. It is a good point however, that it can be very awkward sitting across from eachother just staring. My favorite part about this one is the fact that they give you a specific positioning point (30%) it's absolutely silly! This one is causing you to think too deeply about stuff that doesn't even really matter. You will be sitting at dinner and instead of trying to think of something to say you will be busy positioning your chair to their suggested 30% position. I mean come on.)


2. Keep your hands where he can see them. You’re not some wilting flower, you’re a secure modern woman. Show your confidence by relaxing your hands and placing them on the table. Says D: “Keeping your hands in your lap is too passive. You want to go into a date with confidence, which also helps the guy feel confident, so you’re really doing him a favor.”


(Okay..so yes confidence is great. Confidence is sexy. Being quite honest though, I dont know how much a guy really cares where you're placing your hands unless he has some sort benefit from it.)


3. Smile, for real. There’s nothing worse than a disingenuous smile, and people pick up on it very easily. “In a real smile your eyes are involved,” says Greg Hartley, author of Date Decoder. In less flattering terms, when you smile sincerely your crow’s feet come out. But your willingness to go there – being open and relaxed enough to let loose – can go a long way toward making him feel comfortable (and it may help you feel less anxious, too). So even if you’re feeling a little nervous, don’t be afraid to flash a few big let-it-all-hang-out smiles.


(Yes...finally one that doesn't completely suck. A real smile can change someones day. I work in a restaurant and it isn't very often that someone gives you a genuine smile. So I like to think that this tip is a fairly good one, because no matter the situation a smile lightens the mood.)



Once you’ve done your best to put your date at ease, it’s time to read the signs he’s showing you. This will give you some instant feedback on how the date is going, which, in turn, can help you relax and enjoy yourself even more. Here are the signals to look for:

1. He’s touching you. Generally speaking, a guy shows his interest in you with constant touches. According to Driver, when things are going well, you’re likely to see as many as five instances of touching in the first 15 minutes of your date. So keep a mental scorecard, one point for each "touch": He hugged you when you met up, one point. He put his hand on your back as you walked through the door, two total points. He touched your arm when he asked you what you wanted to drink, three total points. He touched your leg as he was telling you about his day, four total points, etc. Obviously, this isn’t an exact science, so don’t freak out if you only get to three or four points. But if you’re on a date with a guy and he hasn’t touched you at all, that’s probably a bad sign (unless, of course, he’s super-shy).


(Alright...I have big issues with this one. HES A GUY!! I mean come on...if he is physically attracted to you in any way he will touch you. He could know for a fact that you are not his type but if he thinks your cute, he'll touch ya! This is not a sure sign that he is actually interested in you. It CAN be a sign...but we are talking about visually stimulated individuals here, which I can only conclude that the touching sign is not VALID! On the other hand, I will agree that it can be a bad sign if he hasn't touched you at all. I do feel that sometimes men dont touch you because they're not sure if you want to be touched. Im not a guy so I can't say for sure..but I hesitate to touch a guy sometimes for that very reason, so it goes both ways I assume.)


2. He seems a little nervous. It’s actually a good thing when a guy is a little anxious the first time he takes you out. “It shows he has something invested, as opposed to seeing the date as just another outing,” says Hartley. “A little nervous energy is essential.” After all, the last thing you want is some Rico Suave-type professional dater who’s only thinking, “I got this one in the bag!”


(Its a miracle...but I genuinely like this one. I love when a guy seems slightly nervous..because most likely I am too. There is nothing better then a guy who acts like a human, not some perfect stud there to seduce you. I have not always been a fan of the "real man"...but once you've been around too many perfect studs, the real thing is quite refreshing.)


3. He’s looking at your lips. As the night goes on, if you catch him looking at your lips that's also a good sign. “When a man looks at your lips, it’s sexual. It shows he wants to kiss you,” says Driver. If you’re not sure whether he’s feeling it or not, when you catch him glancing at your lips you’ll know that he is.


(This seems to be true. I cant rip this one apart too much.)


While the signals that someone throws off can be telling, don’t get so wrapped up in trying to read his body language that you lose track of the overall vibe of the date. The signs mentioned above are a good barometer, but they don’t always tell the whole story. “Women are naturally intuitive,” says Hartley. “Reading body language is about putting into words what you already recognize.” At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you have a good time and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Without any doubt, that’s the surest sign of a successful first date.


(This paragraph is honestly the best part out of the whole help article. In my opinion this is what matters. If you feel the connection...THAT is all that you should focus on. Not the positioning of your chair...or how many times he tries to paw you..but what your interaction with him is making you feel like. I can guarantee one thing..you could do everything that they wrote about, and if your chemistry isn't there, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change that. Everyone wants to find love, but these articles are making you break down the stupid little things that in the big picture don't even really count. We need to stop trying to monitor or analyze our every movement..in hopes that it will impress someone. Be yourself! It is so much easier.)